后悔
信用:skaggythepoet.wordpress.com

Regrets are a natural part of life.We all have them;we all dread them, and yet can’t seem to let them go.Regrets do more than distract us from our daily tasks.In fact, studies have shown that they can have对我们的心理健康产生破坏性的影响through repetitive patterns of self-blame, negative thinking, and stress over past events that cannot be changed, all of which are connected to anxiety and depression.

Thinking about the past logically rather than emotionally and trying to not overthink the future is the key to letting go.更多 specifically, you need to

1) correctly access your mindset at the time of the regrettable event

2) stop assuming negative results

3) Try to make amends or fix the problem at hand.

4) Live in the present, not the past or the future.

Is your regrettable event actually a misrepresented reasonable decision?

The consequences of our actions are difficult to predict.Perhaps if one contemplates their moves for hours, attempting to map out every possible consequence, they would be able to avoid having regrets.But, who among us truly does this?I am guessing not many.We act the way we do because our knowledge of the future is limited;we may only have regrets later due to the future becoming clear.Do not judge or beat yourself up for past mistakes depending on your current knowledge of the outcome, but of what you knew at the time.Without performing the action, you may even have found yourself regretting not taking a chance.

During my first semester of University, for example, I did not know what I wanted to major in.I was very interested in Biology, so I pursued a very challenging foundation science course that was far beyond my capabilities.For months before my decision, I went back and forth trying to decide whether I should take this course or not.I only took it, because I knew I owed myself the chance to find out whether I had what it takes to become a scientist or not.After months of not being able to keep up, I barely passed the course and my self-confidence was completely diminished.Afterwards, I changed my major altogether, but the effects that course had on my mental health stayed with me.I beat myself up for months asking how I could’ve been so stupid as to waste my health, time, and effort on that course when I could’ve chosen another one.

It took me months to finally recognize that I had, in fact, not been to blame for my actions.But, if I had stopped to recall the fact that I felt unsure about my major at the time, I would’ve come to that conclusion sooner, as opposed to wasting more time dwelling on the past.Had I known how challenging the course is, I would’ve be justified in blaming myself.But, how could I have possibly known that without giving it a shot?Had I not taken the leap into the unknown that we all need to take at many points in our lives, I would’ve been left to wonder what my life would’ve been like had I taken it.Just like you can't blame a baby for not being able to walk, you cannot blame yourself for not being able to assess the consequences of an action before seeing it through.

What Impact did the regrettable event truly have on your life?

Before you start stressing about that meeting you missed or that opportunity that you didn't take advantage of, ask yourself what happened as a result.After evaluating what has occurred, identify its true impact on your life.What it really that drastic?Did you lose your job as a result?或者仅仅是闹翻了其同事相比较小?你有没有造成严重危害到个人的吗?或无意得罪了他们,因为你不知道更好吗?

在同样的科学过程,我错过了中期,因为我的闹钟没在考试当天熄灭。我开始慌了,想着我的失败过程中,将失去我的奖学金,不得不辍学纽约大学,并报名参加另一所学校,那里有我低的GPA会减弱我的任何机会得到一个精美的奖学金,都因为报警 did not go off.好的。现在,让我们备份。那天我醒来的那一刻,所有我知道肯定是我错过了期中考试。关于会发生什么,结果我所有的恐慌的想法都只是假设,我不知道会发生在所有。事实上,当我想到那一天,现在,我认识到,过早下结论是主要的原因,我认为是事件首先是一个遗憾。想着一个事件时,你需要避免过早下结论,而是看实际发生了什么。

误区

你怎么能对付令人遗憾事件的负面效果?

我的教授简短的谈话之后,他让我坐了化妆测试。我的想法真的没有合理的依据,因为担心会发生的一切,我没有。但是,如果该教授并没有什么改变什么。这不是世界末日。我可能已经选择把更多的精力投入到我的所有科目的研究,以弥补缺失的中期或从类完全退出。如果我仍然无法管理,以获得所需的GPA为我的奖学金,我可能已经取出贷款或得到一份工作。这不是最佳的,需要努力,但也不是没有可能,无论是。

无论事件的结果是,总有一个修复。关键是要找到一种方法来解决问题,而不是居住太多就可以了。你不能改变发生了什么;你只能期待。深呼吸,保持提醒自己,你正在做的,你可以用的情况下最好在手,就可以随时从自己的错误中学习,并力争在未来做得更好。

享受现在!

而不是在得太多过去或担心未来,努力活在当下。毕竟,过去是不可改变的和未来是不确定的,所以有一张关于自己没有用。克哈特托尔描述了一种具有在其名著“现在的力量”遗憾的斗争。他指出,“强制思想家,这意味着几乎每个人,生活明显分裂的状态,在连续的问题和冲突的疯狂复杂的世界”。因为他声称,内心的平静和幸福只能当你自由的心灵,包括后悔的这些消极的想法自己实现,着眼于此时此地。

现在的力量:指南精神启示
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