Regrets are a natural part of life.We all have them;we all dread them, and yet can’t seem to let them go.Regrets do more than distract us from our daily tasks.In fact, studies have shown that they can have对我们的心理健康产生破坏性的影响through repetitive patterns of self-blame, negative thinking, and stress over past events that cannot be changed, all of which are connected to anxiety and depression.
Thinking about the past logically rather than emotionally and trying to not overthink the future is the key to letting go.更多 specifically, you need to
1) correctly access your mindset at the time of the regrettable event
2) stop assuming negative results
3) Try to make amends or fix the problem at hand.
4) Live in the present, not the past or the future.
Is your regrettable event actually a misrepresented reasonable decision?
The consequences of our actions are difficult to predict.Perhaps if one contemplates their moves for hours, attempting to map out every possible consequence, they would be able to avoid having regrets.But, who among us truly does this?I am guessing not many.We act the way we do because our knowledge of the future is limited;we may only have regrets later due to the future becoming clear.Do not judge or beat yourself up for past mistakes depending on your current knowledge of the outcome, but of what you knew at the time.Without performing the action, you may even have found yourself regretting not taking a chance.
During my first semester of University, for example, I did not know what I wanted to major in.I was very interested in Biology, so I pursued a very challenging foundation science course that was far beyond my capabilities.For months before my decision, I went back and forth trying to decide whether I should take this course or not.I only took it, because I knew I owed myself the chance to find out whether I had what it takes to become a scientist or not.After months of not being able to keep up, I barely passed the course and my self-confidence was completely diminished.Afterwards, I changed my major altogether, but the effects that course had on my mental health stayed with me.I beat myself up for months asking how I could’ve been so stupid as to waste my health, time, and effort on that course when I could’ve chosen another one.
It took me months to finally recognize that I had, in fact, not been to blame for my actions.But, if I had stopped to recall the fact that I felt unsure about my major at the time, I would’ve come to that conclusion sooner, as opposed to wasting more time dwelling on the past.Had I known how challenging the course is, I would’ve be justified in blaming myself.But, how could I have possibly known that without giving it a shot?Had I not taken the leap into the unknown that we all need to take at many points in our lives, I would’ve been left to wonder what my life would’ve been like had I taken it.Just like you can't blame a baby for not being able to walk, you cannot blame yourself for not being able to assess the consequences of an action before seeing it through.
What Impact did the regrettable event truly have on your life?
Before you start stressing about that meeting you missed or that opportunity that you didn't take advantage of, ask yourself what happened as a result.After evaluating what has occurred, identify its true impact on your life.What it really that drastic?Did you lose your job as a result?或者仅仅是闹翻了其同事相比较小？你有没有造成严重危害到个人的吗？或无意得罪了他们，因为你不知道更好吗？
在同样的科学过程，我错过了中期，因为我的闹钟没在考试当天熄灭。我开始慌了，想着我的失败过程中，将失去我的奖学金，不得不辍学纽约大学，并报名参加另一所学校，那里有我低的GPA会减弱我的任何机会得到一个精美的奖学金，都因为报警 did not go off.好的。现在，让我们备份。那天我醒来的那一刻，所有我知道肯定是我错过了期中考试。关于会发生什么，结果我所有的恐慌的想法都只是假设，我不知道会发生在所有。事实上，当我想到那一天，现在，我认识到，过早下结论是主要的原因，我认为是事件首先是一个遗憾。想着一个事件时，你需要避免过早下结论，而是看实际发生了什么。